I made a living as a session musician in NYC for a few years. I’m a good guitarist, but I swear the reason I kept getting called is I would find a way to appreciate whatever crap they played me, telling them that it’s awesome. It was a white lie but a good one, because people can be really insecure in the studio, and need encouragement.
I like to think of myself as a really honest person, and I know that I am just a terrible liar. I need to develop the skill to white lie like Sivers did, and you do too. It’s not really being honest, but it makes everyone feel nice inside, and it its good for your career, no matter what you do.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are times where telling the truth is important, but being able to convincingly lie can be a strength. After all, the world is full of bull shitters, and if that new show coming out about Lies is telling the truth, people usually lie about something every 10 minutes.
And if you can somehow train yourself to able to see the good in all things, you can really transform those white lies into truths. I am definitely weak in this area, but don’t worry, I will be lying to you very shortly about something, and you are going to believe it!
So if you find yourself wanting to get work or make some new friends, just tell people that “that sounds really nice.” Even if it is god awful. They will love you for it!
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Derek Sivers 01.10.09 at 10:35 am
I try to think of it like when a young child makes a drawing, and shows it to you.
You don’t critique it and tell them how their depth perception needs more refinement. You just say, “Great! Good for you! I’m going to hang it on the fridge!”
It’s important to be encouraging.
I may have a thick skin and actually want critique, but many musicians recording are on such shaky ground they actually have more in common with the young child.
- Derek
Jeff 01.10.09 at 11:09 am
That’s a nice analogy!
I agree that the studio is a touchy place, and people can be shaky about their songs, because man it is a scary thing to play someone something you have worked on for such a long time with the chance that they might think it sucks.